-BREAKING NEWS-
The aftertaste of slightly browning banana is butter.
Saturday, 23 October 2010
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
Origins of 'cheesy' and gypsy travellers
Who decided that the word 'cheesy' in the sense of slightly awful romantic gestures would have these implications? How is the cheese we eat in our sandwiches related to this.
10am this morning I encountered gypsy travellers. I was crossing the road and pretty sure the boys driving the vehicle (not sure how gypsies refer to these old style caravans) whipped the horse so it sped up as it drew nearer to me. The horse was then challenged with the deceivingly evil hill which finished off my wake-up walk 4 times a week, and I was slightly concerned that the poor thing would just stop and fall on its side and refuse to move and cause a blockage right by my tutorials which would inevitably send the 'yum' minivan into a frenzy in which it would not be able to turn off its ice-cream sirens and I would be forced to listen to this throughout the entire 60 minutes.
If a horse falls on its back is it unable to get up again, like sheep?
10am this morning I encountered gypsy travellers. I was crossing the road and pretty sure the boys driving the vehicle (not sure how gypsies refer to these old style caravans) whipped the horse so it sped up as it drew nearer to me. The horse was then challenged with the deceivingly evil hill which finished off my wake-up walk 4 times a week, and I was slightly concerned that the poor thing would just stop and fall on its side and refuse to move and cause a blockage right by my tutorials which would inevitably send the 'yum' minivan into a frenzy in which it would not be able to turn off its ice-cream sirens and I would be forced to listen to this throughout the entire 60 minutes.
If a horse falls on its back is it unable to get up again, like sheep?
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
French Universities
I am amazed how the French can manage to have the best healthcare system in the EU but at the same time fail so dramatically with their Universities-
- There is no selective entry for undergrads so anyone with any grades can apply anywhere
- Over 2/5s of undergrads drop out
- There are no tuition fees
- Most of the University libraries close at weekends
Monday, 13 September 2010
SXSW 2010
I cannot drag myself away from this recently discovered music. From a festival in Austin, Texas called SXSW 2010.
Here is a sample..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2BsWVBNqCU&NR=1
Here is a sample..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2BsWVBNqCU&NR=1
Sunday, 12 September 2010
"An electronically transmitted voice is not a real voice" I said. "We've all grown used to these simulacra of ourselves, but when you stop and think about it, the telephone is an instrument of distortion and fantasy. It's communication between ghosts, the verbal secretions of minds without bodies. I want to be able to see the person I'm talking to. If I can't, I'd rather not talk at all".
Admittedly being stranded on a train for the best part of two hours makes having a mobile phone incredibly useful, however at times I find the use and need for one burdensome; having to report and maintain communication with people when they're not in your presence, solely to fulfill the needs of a socially constructed action.
'Iya. Wuup2? Tb.xx'... 'Got such a nastee hangover. Gud nyt tho. Wen r u uploading the photos online?xoxo'.
Now more than ever the original invention and introduction of technology is being abused to create and sustain the extension of a person's identity, an identity which is fraudulent and insincere, not to mention misleading. Admittedly I have veered more to the debate of facebook/myspace/bebo/twitter, however all can be coined together to see how it is terrifyingly disturbing if you are to consider the effects this is having on the basic levels of communication on a wider social plane. Rather not talk at all?
Admittedly being stranded on a train for the best part of two hours makes having a mobile phone incredibly useful, however at times I find the use and need for one burdensome; having to report and maintain communication with people when they're not in your presence, solely to fulfill the needs of a socially constructed action.
'Iya. Wuup2? Tb.xx'... 'Got such a nastee hangover. Gud nyt tho. Wen r u uploading the photos online?xoxo'.
Now more than ever the original invention and introduction of technology is being abused to create and sustain the extension of a person's identity, an identity which is fraudulent and insincere, not to mention misleading. Admittedly I have veered more to the debate of facebook/myspace/bebo/twitter, however all can be coined together to see how it is terrifyingly disturbing if you are to consider the effects this is having on the basic levels of communication on a wider social plane. Rather not talk at all?
Saturday, 11 September 2010
Stamford welcomes Malik
Malik paid me a visit this week.
Inevitably it was eventful.
Birds were flying into train tyres causing 2 hour delays and our canadian rugby exchange endured the spanish inquisition, being made to outline his 3 favourite things about Canada beginning with C. Cuddles, culture and his cat he responded.
On taking Lucas back to the boarding house we had a drunken chat with the housemaster after which Malik proceeded to pose on bridges pretending to be a stamfordian.
Once safely in 'the wig', we were accosted by army guys and head boys and other stamford raas. Malik pursued an intellectually rigorous debate on whether Hitler was a good leader.
It was a good night.
Malik is now recovering from spending his 21st birthday night out at Chinese karaoke, something which I am envious of. I am expecting an update on his destruction of liverpool, no more biography style please.
Inevitably it was eventful.
Birds were flying into train tyres causing 2 hour delays and our canadian rugby exchange endured the spanish inquisition, being made to outline his 3 favourite things about Canada beginning with C. Cuddles, culture and his cat he responded.
On taking Lucas back to the boarding house we had a drunken chat with the housemaster after which Malik proceeded to pose on bridges pretending to be a stamfordian.
Once safely in 'the wig', we were accosted by army guys and head boys and other stamford raas. Malik pursued an intellectually rigorous debate on whether Hitler was a good leader.
It was a good night.
Malik is now recovering from spending his 21st birthday night out at Chinese karaoke, something which I am envious of. I am expecting an update on his destruction of liverpool, no more biography style please.
Starstruck
FILM STAR SIGHTED IN STAMFORD.
Hands had been cured from their sharp edges.
Make-up artist was on holiday.
Usually spotted on far-off islands or manning the surrounding seas.
WHO AM I?
Hands had been cured from their sharp edges.
Make-up artist was on holiday.
Usually spotted on far-off islands or manning the surrounding seas.
WHO AM I?
Sunday, 5 September 2010
Narcolepsy
Once the narcoleptic woman had finished her meal in the hotel restaurant, her friends left her slumped and sleeping alone in the room having turned off all the lights. After a lovely fright on finding this woman, having anticipated an empty room once illuminated, I continued to clear the glasses from around her. The sleeping narcoleptic customer told me very loudly to ssshhh much to my surprise. Now I have lots of questions about narcolepsy.
1) Can she fall asleep whilst she is walking?
2) She must have been semi-conscious to ssshh me and therefore did she not semi-realise she was in the restaurant?
3) Is it inherited and similarly can there be narcoleptic families?
4) Do they dream in the same way?
5) Is sex a problem?
6) Shouldn't natural selection have weeded out this bizarre illness?
1) Can she fall asleep whilst she is walking?
2) She must have been semi-conscious to ssshh me and therefore did she not semi-realise she was in the restaurant?
3) Is it inherited and similarly can there be narcoleptic families?
4) Do they dream in the same way?
5) Is sex a problem?
6) Shouldn't natural selection have weeded out this bizarre illness?
Friday, 3 September 2010
Moral dilemma
When one drops a punnet of blueberries in a Morrissons aisle, is it acceptable to pick them up (whilst ignorant shoppers wheel past tutting, secretly delirious that this has not happened to them and basking in their power to carry on their trip up aisle 14 uninterrupted), put the punnet back on the shelf and get a fresh bunch for oneself?
Wednesday, 1 September 2010
Potentially one of the most sensual visual pieces you will probably ever see in Liverpool:
http://vimeo.com/14294056
http://vimeo.com/14294056
Sunday, 29 August 2010
Malik's whereabouts
Me- Sitting cross-legged fearing the cross-legged inevitable uncomfortableness, drinking endless cups of tea in a bid to keep warm in August, and listening to a Spanish chan chan entitled tune.
Malik- Cleaning up after Saturday night people including that slightly pompous, young entrepeneur most people love to hate who has ordered a £150 bottle of Krug commenting that he "just likes the taste" after he has just bought a coke for an underage friend with a £20 note telling the barman he can "keep the change". Maybe he leaves and moves on to wave his wad frantically to some impressionable giggling girls. Or he will book into the suite in the hotel where Malik will now be picking up the remnants of his successful night in the plaza. On returning home I predict a consideration given to becoming a beatles tour guide, followed most likely by a skype conversation and then perhaps a channel change to 4thought.tv where a comedian discusses jokes about Christian icons.
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